Compliments

I know I receive compliments. I mean we all do. I must.

I have gotten better of just saying thank you when I am complimented. That is a step-up from when I used to argue with someone complimenting me.

I don't remember them as like a whole. I don't know which ones I get "the most."  I remember specific ones that have meant a lot to me.

"You have a Rose there. A beautiful Rose, cherish her." - Random Man, who asked for money, and I gave him a 20.

"You have the voice of the goddess." - Woman who had "seen me in shows" but met her at a beecake concert

Right now, I get a lot of compliments on my hair. Sometimes on my dresses I wear, which I see as a compliment for Torrid. I get told I am beautiful by my parents frequently. DO parent compliments count though? I mean there is a built-in bias. Though I suppose they do know me well.

I have been told I am smart a bunch. And yea, I agree I am. Though I don't think it does a lot for me.

I know I am, and I get told I am a bottomless pit of needing compliments and assurance. Not a good thing. Maybe if I remembered and held on to compliments more I would not need them all the time, especially after I have completed a project.

I think I am going to try to REMEMBER my compliments this week. Maybe I will even remember to write them down. I know I need to learn to internalize the good stuff and not just say thank you.

Review: Alice 19th, Vol. 1

Alice 19th, Vol. 1 by Yuu Watase
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is a manga I have had sitting in my room. I had read volumes 1-7 while I was in high school in the early 2000s.

I kept it because it felt powerful to me, impact-full I recommended it to anyone I knew who read Manga. The central idea of the Power of Words resonated with my teenage self. In high school I remember seeing aspects of myself in both the main character and her sister.

Yesterday, I sat on the floor of my room and stared at my book shelves until I could no longer feel my legs. I had already put a decent pile of books aside to give to the Used Book Store. This series gave me pause. It has been sitting on my shelf for over 10 years. Was it worthwhile to sit there for another 10? Was it as good as I remembered? Does it warrant a second read, or many more reads?

I decided to reread it and evaluate if it is worth keeping. Is it still as funny, moving, and poignant?

Yes.

I read this volume in a half hour, and I will go through all of them again soon I am sure. It has been like returning to old friends. The lessons and impact have not lessened either. The Power of Words, the courage to speak truth, and bravery to be yourself are all things will be a timeless lessons.

The author in her opening blurb talks about the power of talking to one another in a post 9/11 world, and that power has not diminished. It is still important, and this fun manga has some very hidden powerful words through out it.

As much as I want others to read this, I don't think it will be going to the Used Book Store anytime soon. It deserves a place on my shelf and it shall stay there for many more rereads.



View all my reviews

Review: Serafina and the Twisted Staff

Serafina and the Twisted Staff by Robert Beatty
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This book starts off at a running pace and rarely slows down. There are a few slower moments, but it didn't feel like many. They were placed well. Every time I was about to complain about pacing to whoever was near me, there would be a nice slow moment for me to catch my breath (even if the characters didn't get a chance).

The Biltmore and the surrounding forest is such a fitting and beautiful place for a story like this. I am not sure how much of the beauty I am getting from the setting is having visited or from the authors descriptions. So I will err on the author did a fantastic job of transporting me both back to the location and to a different time. (Although you do feel like you stepped out of a time machine when you visit the property.)

The introduction of new characters were a welcome treat. I am glad for the blurb at the end of the book about the real life men & women who crafted Biltmore. The house in the book feels populated by those real folks and the fictional ones feel just as real.

I am excited for the next book. I want to know more of the people and places.

This book is an exciting and very quick paced adventure in a beautiful both very fantastical and very real location.

View all my reviews

Remembered As...

What do I want people to remember about me?

I want people to remember me as a caring good listener who is curious. Curious in two ways. Curious as I am a explorer and searching and trying to new things. Curious as a little weird, not being able to pin down exactly I am. I want to be mysterious, an enigma of sorts. I want to leave people guessing and thinking.

I want to be remembered as a Storyteller. I want people to enjoy hearing a story from me. I want to people to remember pictures I painted for them in all media: words, physical, actions.

I want to be remembered as a good listener and giving of my time and energy. I want people to remember I invest in others maybe more than I invest in myself.

I want people to remember some clever quip or joke I make.

I want people to remember my favorite things I have shown them. I want them to find joy in what I found joy. A movie or book recommendation, a convention, an escape room.

I want people to remember me as strong and fierce when needed. I want to be a little scary under the surface in the name of protection.

I want to be remembered as Quirky.

I want to be remembered as beautiful, not pretty, deeply beautiful.

Anakin, pathetic life form?

I grew up with the prequels coming out.

The Phantom Menace came out when I was 12. I already loved Star Wars Saga. I think it was required to love it to be in my family. Especially any time with my extended family. My cousin wanted to change his name to Luke Skywalker for a bit.

I instantly fell in love with everything from Episode 1. I had a bunch of action figures. I wished and hoped and begged for a really fancy shimmery poster from Barnes & Noble, which I got for Christmas that year.

It was a movie that swept me away, it was just scary enough to get my adrenaline going. I had a crush on Obi-wan. I held my breath every time Darth Maul was on the screen. I may not have had a wide knowledge of fight scenes, but something in me knew the final fight was epic beyond measure.

I began to quote the movie, a lot. I even had a movie quote toy, with each action figure a little sound card could be plugged into a player to hear quotes from the Movie.

I wanted to live in the world of Star Wars, My cousin's name change desire made sense, but I wanted something like Qui-gon ish.

Years went by, the next two movies didn't capture my imagination as much. I listened more and more to the criticism of the fans, and critics, and well, general consensus that the prequels were terrible. I gave away most of my action figures (there might be a few hiding in my attic.) The poster came down and legit lost it's shimmer.  I started to spout my own dislike of the prequels, but it had been years since I had seen them. My view had changed so completely, but the change wasn't from rewatching the film.

Did all of this influence and change of heart really come from a place of growing up and being more informed, or was it outside forces that really didn't reflect my true love?  Even while explaining to other that the prequels were terrible, I felt a twinge of not being true to my 12 year self and her wall of Phantom Menace photos.

Welp prepping for Rise of Skywlker release means confronting some old demons or sith or gungans or ANAKIN, and it is more complicated than I thought it would be.

Phantom Menace was not as terrible as I had made it to be in my head, and not as wonderful 12-year-old-em would like to believe.

I giggled, a lot, watching this time around. I giggled with joy over that fight scene (better than I remember), I giggled over Darth Maul (Just as awesome as I thought). I laughed at the whole Midiclorians bit. When I was young I thought that was so freaking cool a concept. Now I do agree it would have been better to let it be as "the force." I think I like not having an explanation of  everything.

When I was young, I found Jar Jar a little annoying, but I didn't harbor any ill will. I also didn't  see some of the intrinsic problems with his characterization.  This viewing made some of his problems very clear. I don't endorse him as a great character, but I can look past him to some other cool stuff.

I still have trouble following the Pod Races, and find that whole section to be drawn out and slow. Really the whole movie is slow, but I still had such a giddy response to some moments I am glad I rewatched it. I am happy it exists.

I am glad to have back the quote I used all through high school. "The ability to speak does not make you intelligent."  More correct now then in 1999.

Preparing myself for Rise of Skywalker

I have decided I need to rewatch the whole series, all of the movies. If I had come to this conclusion a few months earlier I would be including all the TV shows as well.

But for now my schedule just has the Movies.

I do like a certain amount of fun and extra-ness when I take on pop-culture projects. So each movie is paired with a drink, a snack or both. I am thinking by the end I might try to throw together a comfy Jedi outfit, that would be PJ like. (I know we just confirmed Luke's pants in the Episode 4 was Levi's but I like to watch my movies in robe like blankets.)

Episode 1: Phantom Menace was paired with Darth Mauled Cider.

Episode 2: Attack of the Clones was paired with A Karmino Float and a Sandy Banana Dessert of my own making.

I don't know how to photograph food well yet. 

The Banana Dessert had a layer of Bananas, a Sprinkling of Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chunks, a Cup of Vanilla Yogurt, and Cinnamon Graham Cracker topping. 

I got the ideas for the above from friend suggestions. Sandy topping from the classic line (I hate sand), Bananas are clones of each other  (new fact I learned from friend), and the float from a website a friend suggested. 

I am working on finding suitable choices for Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith. Something Spicy or Molten center seems to be leading the pack, but I am not sure if I feel confident making something with a molten center. 

5 Things I love About Myself

1. I can make people Laugh

2. I have a Curious Nature

3. I am a storyteller

4. My Eyes/Lips

5. I am a good Listener.

(Notice Humble is not on here)

Review: Lucky Man: A Memoir

Lucky Man: A Memoir by Michael J. Fox
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This was so fascinating. I found this book in my attic. It had been my mom's. She doesn't normally hang out to a lot of books. I have mentioned used book stores. My love and frequent use of them come from my mom. She had held on to this one for years. It had found a place in our attic in the pile of "favorites I could read again and again," and I understand it's placement.

Fox is a fantastic storyteller, and his story is compelling, educative, and relate-able. I knew the basics of his tale. I think anyone alive during the early 2000s knows the basics. I was a young teen when I heard about his illness, and his departure from Spin City. Fox speaks a lot about the concept of celebrity, and the ideas of what is owed to "fans." His insights forced me to think about how I related to celebrity. Why did I feel so connected to his story, his announcement?

I am having a lot Of trouble writing this review. I am not even sure why. It is a great book. I recommend it. He writes with a plain candor that is easy to read and takes long to digest. It is a tale of redemption and hope in the face of a struggle that could be consuming.

It brought me hope, and I felt bolstered to fight my own battles. I don't have PD, but I do know what it is like to not have control of your body at times. Fox makes sure to notate that he is still himself first with just an addition of his diagnosis. It makes me think I will be able to define myself first again one day.

Sorry, This review is meandering. I might try to rewrite it later or just clean it up.

View all my reviews

Mr. Steven King, No relation.

I just want to write a quick Thank You.  I want to get in the habit of thanking the people in my life more often.

I feel like many people don't know the impact they have on others, myself included.   So I want to be more expressive about that.

Mr. Steven King, nope not the author, frequently pops into my mind. Steven was my first general manager in my first job. He left an impact that still informs me today how to be a good worker, and how a relationship between management should be.

Steven exuded a sense of strength that I appreciated. He seemed decisive and in control over the whole domain. I actually didn't interact with him all that much, but the small interactions did leave an impression.

During our orientation he came and spoke to our small class of about 5 new employees. This was immediately after a so terrible it is funny video staring the actress who plays Kimmie Gibbler from full house.

He spoke with authority but a lightness as well. He explained the most important people in the building was us: the front line workers.  I still believe this. His explanation was "If everything is going well, no one should ever see or need me. You are the ones who make them impact." This is something that is well common sense but to a 17 year old entering into the workforce it was both a "duh" moment and mind-blowing at the same time.

He then took a moment to be really serious about what each person brings to a job.  He explained it like work  could be a safe space. I place to leave all other worries behind. "Leave it in the breakroom"  or "leave it at home." I am not sure which phrase he used but I have used both since that day.  I was a little rebellious even then thinking something like that would be impossible. Steven shocked us all by describing some of his own personal struggles. He had a sick daughter. If I remember correctly, it was very serious illness. I think I teared up hearing him speak about something so serious, right after comforting us newbies.  "If I can do it, you can to."  What problems of my 17 year old self could compare. I felt both empowered and humbled.

I quote him in pretty much every job interview I have ever had.  His faith in us as members of his team, has instilled the faith I have had for every team I have led. I have grown to realize sometimes and somethings people go through can not be left in the breakroom, but I took from that the sentiment of "chose your attitude."  From that point own, I work to try and create the safe space at work. I chose to put faith in my team. And I chose to see work as not the whole of my world, a part of it, but separate from the whole.

Thank you Steven King, no relation to the author. I don't expect our paths will cross again, but you have had a strong impact on my life. I think of you from time to time with gratitude. I hope you know you have made an impact on my life, and those who I have lead too.

Review: Mortal Engines

Mortal Engines by Philip Reeve
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

The world in which this book lives is fascinating. I think the concepts in it of the traveling cities, the rebuilding of civilization, and the opposition to it is ripe with possibility. There is a decent amount of action in this book, and I found some of it hard to follow. There was a lot of travel, action, fighting, intrigue, and world building crammed into a relatively short book. It was a quick read. I read the first 100 pages in one sitting.

And yet, I still didn't love it. I felt like everything was set up to be amazing, and I loved the concept of many of the characters. But as I spent more time with a character they seemed to fall flat. It felt like I was reading the outline of a great book, and not something fully realized. I wanted more with the characters. I could see elements of them that had potential, but I ended up reading almost all of them as similar and indistinguishable. There were a few exceptions where intention, characterization, dialogue and choice made characters breathe a little more life and individuality. The two that come to mind are Fang, and Shrike; and yet, neither make it to the end of the book.

I didn't feel connected with the two "main" characters that will continue the series, as I felt they were so bland. Which is odd because they both have great back stories and have done some incredible things. I don't think I will seek out the sequels, but if I happen upon them I might read more. I read so much potential. Seriously it is like an outline of an amazing epic tale, that never found the details to make it come alive.

View all my reviews

Review: You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life

You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This was an interesting read. It was also kinda hard to read for me. Something as simple as Love yourself at the end of each chapter made me cry EVERY TIME. I believe that indicates this is a book I needed to read. I powered through it the best I could. I typically read thirty minutes a day. And yet, I did not get to thirty minutes a day with this book. My normal reading for this book was read until I can't see from crying. I didn't attempt any of the activities the book during my first read through. I will read through this again even slower, and try to see if the lessons/activities help.

I found this book in a weird way. I bought and have been using off and on the Planner that is based off this book. I had no idea there was a book connected to the planner. I just liked the color/sayings/habit tracker. When I saw this book a month later, I thought I should give it a read. I am glad I did. I like this book. It may be very helpful for me on this journey I have been on for the past 10 months. We shall see.

I am finished reading, but I am not finished with this book.

View all my reviews

Review: The Goldfinch

The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

So, I finished it.

Have you ever gotten to a point where you are just kinda hate-reading something? I mean you don't like it, but you feel you have to get through it for some reason: This Book.

O' This Book.

I didn't hate ALL of it. I mean I even liked a few characters, Hobie, Andy, Boris (sometimes). So why did I get to a hate read feeling? It felt like literary drugs. (Which is almost funny cause there is a LOT of drug taking in this book. ) What I mean by that is the author does everything to make sure you are just gonna read a little more. I dont mind being manipulated in a such a manner if I am really engaged in the content. I was not. The sections (sure, I will call it that) were short, and encouraged the mentality of Just one more. The opening is set up with a frame work that makes the reader know enough of the characters future to be "worried" I guess. I am all for a fun framing device or a exciting opening, but it seemed so formulaic.

References seemed to happen a decent amount, also something I am Not entirely opposed to. I like the feeling of "Oh I know that thing!" I am not immune to that type of charm. But many of these seemed to be thrown about just to entice that or worse "look how smart I am, and how smart you are reader." I felt the references did little for the atmosphere, characterization, plot, etc and seemed to be thrown in most of the time. There were a few that were in poignant points, but over-all felt like just more tactics for tactic sake.

Overall I felt it trite/cliche even, and seemingly full of self-importance. But, I finished it.

So I supposed I was entertained enough, even if a good portion of my reading time included a lot of Sighs, "get on with it," "I don't carrrreee," and 'WHYS."

A lot of people love this book, and I am happy for them. I am not one of them, and I will be glad to give it to my used book store. May the next reader like it more than me.

View all my reviews

Review: The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove

The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove by Christopher Moore
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I have yet to find a book from Christopher Moore I don't like. Each book i have read has made me laugh at loud at least a few times. Each one is funny, unique, and bizarre in the best ways. This one is not deviating from my feelings on them all. I was engaged with the large cast of characters. Each character felt real and fully developed.

This melancholy cove felt like a dream. The place felt both a little surreal and yet firmly grounded in reality. Moore has a great talent of taking truly weird and twisted even and making it feel like it could really exist in our world.

What may have added to my feelings of surreal was I read a good portion of this in Walt Disney World. It felt odd to be reading about a giant Lust Lizard while listening to Small World.

This isn't my FAVORITE Moore book, but loved it and recommend it.

View all my reviews

Review: The Seven Storey Mountain

The Seven Storey Mountain by Thomas Merton
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I found Merton to stray to the hyperbolic, and overly emo at times. If he was growing up in a similar time frame as I, I could see him being a quintessential emo-kid. There were times while reading that I felt, best I can describe, icky. But that was not the entire book, and very much a product of his time. It is a fascinating look into who would chose to join the Trappist Monks.

View all my reviews

Review: War

War by Laura Thalassa
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Okay. So, I got the first one in this series for a laugh last year, and I had weird feelings about it. I saw that the second one was released, and I felt a compulsion to read it.

It is a weird read, but it is well written. I like it. I like it a lot. I don't know if I like that I like it. I mean it is in some ways a super heavy read, and in others it is light and funny.

Will I read the third? Yes. Am I slightly embarrassed I have read these? Yes. Will that stop me? No.

View all my reviews

Robot Restaurant - Robot Wonderland?

This journey down the automaton rabbit hole started with a Pin from Pinterest.  (which, of course, I can not find now.)

It was a blogger post about the 8 cafe's you should visit in Tokyo. There were some odd choices in that list including a "lockup" themed one, and a "school" one.  Those are two places I like for my escape rooms, not lunch/dinner or snack. 

The only one that piqued my interest was Robot Restaurant. (Since there was only one, I guess I deleted it off my board.)  Seriously you should go to their website. The blogger post mentioned it was liked by Anthony Bourdain! While I have not verified that statement, the endorsement made me want to explore this as an option. I mean the serendipity of just reading/reviewing Kitchen Confidential! 

What I found by searching Robot Restaurant has been enlightening, and yet I am still not entirely sure what this experience is. 

The first video I found was electric: 

I watched a few other videos from Japan Vloggers, nothing super exciting or new was added. 

From there I went to the official website which has an English version.

It is about 8000 yen or nearly $80 for the show alone. I don't think that price includes any of the food. Multiple reviews state the price may seem steep, but the quality and uniqueness make it worth the steep price.

I am not sure if I am convinced. I mean if we were going for Halloween or "Dia de Los Meurtos" I might feel differently. I mean look at this video: LOOK!



But I am having fun exploring all the information around this show. I found some gems on their recruitment website.

I mean with "DIVA" & "Enjoy singing, enjoy life." Kinda makes my depressed butt want to move to Tokyo to sing in Robot Restaurant.

There is even a blog that is run by some of the dancers in the show. I think. Google Translate is trying its best, but might have some trouble with this blog.  I think my favorite title for one of their entries is: "I gave a woman war to everyone."  I'm into it.

So Robot Restaurant has ended up not being a MUST-DO for me, but I would be interested with we decide that is something we want to experience.

I mean it has inspired me to want to give woman war to everyone by singing.

It also inspired another more local adventure, but I will get to that one later.