Compliments

I know I receive compliments. I mean we all do. I must.

I have gotten better of just saying thank you when I am complimented. That is a step-up from when I used to argue with someone complimenting me.

I don't remember them as like a whole. I don't know which ones I get "the most."  I remember specific ones that have meant a lot to me.

"You have a Rose there. A beautiful Rose, cherish her." - Random Man, who asked for money, and I gave him a 20.

"You have the voice of the goddess." - Woman who had "seen me in shows" but met her at a beecake concert

Right now, I get a lot of compliments on my hair. Sometimes on my dresses I wear, which I see as a compliment for Torrid. I get told I am beautiful by my parents frequently. DO parent compliments count though? I mean there is a built-in bias. Though I suppose they do know me well.

I have been told I am smart a bunch. And yea, I agree I am. Though I don't think it does a lot for me.

I know I am, and I get told I am a bottomless pit of needing compliments and assurance. Not a good thing. Maybe if I remembered and held on to compliments more I would not need them all the time, especially after I have completed a project.

I think I am going to try to REMEMBER my compliments this week. Maybe I will even remember to write them down. I know I need to learn to internalize the good stuff and not just say thank you.

Review: Alice 19th, Vol. 1

Alice 19th, Vol. 1 by Yuu Watase
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is a manga I have had sitting in my room. I had read volumes 1-7 while I was in high school in the early 2000s.

I kept it because it felt powerful to me, impact-full I recommended it to anyone I knew who read Manga. The central idea of the Power of Words resonated with my teenage self. In high school I remember seeing aspects of myself in both the main character and her sister.

Yesterday, I sat on the floor of my room and stared at my book shelves until I could no longer feel my legs. I had already put a decent pile of books aside to give to the Used Book Store. This series gave me pause. It has been sitting on my shelf for over 10 years. Was it worthwhile to sit there for another 10? Was it as good as I remembered? Does it warrant a second read, or many more reads?

I decided to reread it and evaluate if it is worth keeping. Is it still as funny, moving, and poignant?

Yes.

I read this volume in a half hour, and I will go through all of them again soon I am sure. It has been like returning to old friends. The lessons and impact have not lessened either. The Power of Words, the courage to speak truth, and bravery to be yourself are all things will be a timeless lessons.

The author in her opening blurb talks about the power of talking to one another in a post 9/11 world, and that power has not diminished. It is still important, and this fun manga has some very hidden powerful words through out it.

As much as I want others to read this, I don't think it will be going to the Used Book Store anytime soon. It deserves a place on my shelf and it shall stay there for many more rereads.



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Review: Serafina and the Twisted Staff

Serafina and the Twisted Staff by Robert Beatty
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This book starts off at a running pace and rarely slows down. There are a few slower moments, but it didn't feel like many. They were placed well. Every time I was about to complain about pacing to whoever was near me, there would be a nice slow moment for me to catch my breath (even if the characters didn't get a chance).

The Biltmore and the surrounding forest is such a fitting and beautiful place for a story like this. I am not sure how much of the beauty I am getting from the setting is having visited or from the authors descriptions. So I will err on the author did a fantastic job of transporting me both back to the location and to a different time. (Although you do feel like you stepped out of a time machine when you visit the property.)

The introduction of new characters were a welcome treat. I am glad for the blurb at the end of the book about the real life men & women who crafted Biltmore. The house in the book feels populated by those real folks and the fictional ones feel just as real.

I am excited for the next book. I want to know more of the people and places.

This book is an exciting and very quick paced adventure in a beautiful both very fantastical and very real location.

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Remembered As...

What do I want people to remember about me?

I want people to remember me as a caring good listener who is curious. Curious in two ways. Curious as I am a explorer and searching and trying to new things. Curious as a little weird, not being able to pin down exactly I am. I want to be mysterious, an enigma of sorts. I want to leave people guessing and thinking.

I want to be remembered as a Storyteller. I want people to enjoy hearing a story from me. I want to people to remember pictures I painted for them in all media: words, physical, actions.

I want to be remembered as a good listener and giving of my time and energy. I want people to remember I invest in others maybe more than I invest in myself.

I want people to remember some clever quip or joke I make.

I want people to remember my favorite things I have shown them. I want them to find joy in what I found joy. A movie or book recommendation, a convention, an escape room.

I want people to remember me as strong and fierce when needed. I want to be a little scary under the surface in the name of protection.

I want to be remembered as Quirky.

I want to be remembered as beautiful, not pretty, deeply beautiful.

Anakin, pathetic life form?

I grew up with the prequels coming out.

The Phantom Menace came out when I was 12. I already loved Star Wars Saga. I think it was required to love it to be in my family. Especially any time with my extended family. My cousin wanted to change his name to Luke Skywalker for a bit.

I instantly fell in love with everything from Episode 1. I had a bunch of action figures. I wished and hoped and begged for a really fancy shimmery poster from Barnes & Noble, which I got for Christmas that year.

It was a movie that swept me away, it was just scary enough to get my adrenaline going. I had a crush on Obi-wan. I held my breath every time Darth Maul was on the screen. I may not have had a wide knowledge of fight scenes, but something in me knew the final fight was epic beyond measure.

I began to quote the movie, a lot. I even had a movie quote toy, with each action figure a little sound card could be plugged into a player to hear quotes from the Movie.

I wanted to live in the world of Star Wars, My cousin's name change desire made sense, but I wanted something like Qui-gon ish.

Years went by, the next two movies didn't capture my imagination as much. I listened more and more to the criticism of the fans, and critics, and well, general consensus that the prequels were terrible. I gave away most of my action figures (there might be a few hiding in my attic.) The poster came down and legit lost it's shimmer.  I started to spout my own dislike of the prequels, but it had been years since I had seen them. My view had changed so completely, but the change wasn't from rewatching the film.

Did all of this influence and change of heart really come from a place of growing up and being more informed, or was it outside forces that really didn't reflect my true love?  Even while explaining to other that the prequels were terrible, I felt a twinge of not being true to my 12 year self and her wall of Phantom Menace photos.

Welp prepping for Rise of Skywlker release means confronting some old demons or sith or gungans or ANAKIN, and it is more complicated than I thought it would be.

Phantom Menace was not as terrible as I had made it to be in my head, and not as wonderful 12-year-old-em would like to believe.

I giggled, a lot, watching this time around. I giggled with joy over that fight scene (better than I remember), I giggled over Darth Maul (Just as awesome as I thought). I laughed at the whole Midiclorians bit. When I was young I thought that was so freaking cool a concept. Now I do agree it would have been better to let it be as "the force." I think I like not having an explanation of  everything.

When I was young, I found Jar Jar a little annoying, but I didn't harbor any ill will. I also didn't  see some of the intrinsic problems with his characterization.  This viewing made some of his problems very clear. I don't endorse him as a great character, but I can look past him to some other cool stuff.

I still have trouble following the Pod Races, and find that whole section to be drawn out and slow. Really the whole movie is slow, but I still had such a giddy response to some moments I am glad I rewatched it. I am happy it exists.

I am glad to have back the quote I used all through high school. "The ability to speak does not make you intelligent."  More correct now then in 1999.

Preparing myself for Rise of Skywalker

I have decided I need to rewatch the whole series, all of the movies. If I had come to this conclusion a few months earlier I would be including all the TV shows as well.

But for now my schedule just has the Movies.

I do like a certain amount of fun and extra-ness when I take on pop-culture projects. So each movie is paired with a drink, a snack or both. I am thinking by the end I might try to throw together a comfy Jedi outfit, that would be PJ like. (I know we just confirmed Luke's pants in the Episode 4 was Levi's but I like to watch my movies in robe like blankets.)

Episode 1: Phantom Menace was paired with Darth Mauled Cider.

Episode 2: Attack of the Clones was paired with A Karmino Float and a Sandy Banana Dessert of my own making.

I don't know how to photograph food well yet. 

The Banana Dessert had a layer of Bananas, a Sprinkling of Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chunks, a Cup of Vanilla Yogurt, and Cinnamon Graham Cracker topping. 

I got the ideas for the above from friend suggestions. Sandy topping from the classic line (I hate sand), Bananas are clones of each other  (new fact I learned from friend), and the float from a website a friend suggested. 

I am working on finding suitable choices for Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith. Something Spicy or Molten center seems to be leading the pack, but I am not sure if I feel confident making something with a molten center.