I have to come up with at least two (2) mantras!
My personal brand of depression/anxiety has been called the common cold of mental illness by one of my therapists.
So I am thinking my dread and trigger of feeling judged by other people is pretty universal as well. I mean my logic knows people are most of time just as in their own head as I am in mine. That knowledge doesn't seem to help in the moment.
My therapist wants me to come up with a mantra to say while I am feeling less than; while I am feeling unworthy of being in public; or while I am feeling too weird. The initial homework was for just one mantra.
Then I explained well a little quirk of mine: my most frequent way I talk badly about myself is in French.
My therapist seemed surprised and asked me if French was a language I spoke at home. It is not. I normally degrade myself in french because I don't want anyone else to know what I am saying.
Which is a bit silly if I think about it. And reinforces my desire to control how others see me, and also tries to make sure I am not imposing on others.
So my homework changed to finding a mantra in English & French.
I am still looking for what they will be. Do you have one to share?
Also, I wonder if I am the only one who uses another language like that.
I used to have mantras to tell myself I was terrible, but I don't think I've ever had any positive mantras & have never considered trying to develop one. How's your progress been? I guess if I've ever repeated anything positive to myself, it's 'if you only do one thing today, that's fine.' Which helps takes pressure off when I'm feeling really down on myself for being lazy, or if I'm too depressed to get much done.
ReplyDeleteThe French thing is so interesting. Do you know when you started doing that? I feel like that's a very human tendency though, to compartmentalize your brain using language
I love your blogging idea btw & hope you keep it up. This reminds me of our livejournal days lol (this is Teresa btw)
My progress is not so great on the mantra front. I am doing the same procrastination on my Therapy Homework that I used to do in school. Then I get paranoid about it having to be perfect so I give up. I feel like I am in High School again.
DeleteI love the "if you only do one thing today, that's fine" I have used similar before. For that same idea I also like "Anything worth doing, is worth worth doing terribly." It sometimes helps me in the perfection paralyzing.
I am actually gonna work on finding a good mantra tonight... i think... maybe.
I think French started sometime in College. I totally started to mumble to myself and others in french first to talk about how cute someone happened to be, and then it got weirdly inward and dark. heh.
I was just talking about Livejournal/deadjournal! I am curious if all our online journals still exist sometimes, and other times I HOPE they are gone.
Are you blogging or doing any side projects?